Woman Saint of the Week #2: St. Margaret of Cortona

Here is saint whose story could be found anywhere in the United States in 2014.

In the thirteenth century, she was born to farmers in central Italy. Her mother died when she was young. Her father remarried. She got along with her step-mother like oil and water. The situation got so intense, she ran away with a wealthy young man who showered her with attention. She lived as his mistress for nine years. They had a son out of wedlock. One day, her lover was killed by thieves. Like many young people in a bad situation, seeing a friend killed served as a wake up call.

She tried to go back home, but her father and step-mother didn't want anything to do with her and her son. In despair as a homeless single mom, she heard a voice tell her to go to a nearby Franciscan monastery. They had pity and took her and her son in. She became a Secular Franciscan and earned her keep by caring for the sick and begging. She founded an order devoted to Our Lady of Mercy that worked with the poor and suffering.

She lived a life of severe penances. She felt so horrible about all of the things she had done when she was younger, she lived without even the most reasonable of comforts. One biographer notes that she needed a confessor to look after her and make sure that she at least treated herself like a human being.

She was still a very attractive woman. She would always spurn the attention men gave her, but she was regularly falsely accused of having affairs. At one point, she had to be stopped from mutilating herself. She wanted to destroy her face so that the advances would stop.

She had many mystical experiences. Toward the end of her life she had a couple notable ones featuring St. Mary Magdalene. She has been called the "Second Magdalene." Reportedly, Jesus referred to her as "povervella"(little poor thing) in her visions of Him.

Her feast day is February 22. Surprise, surprise, she's the patron saint of: the falsely accused, the homeless, the insane, the orphaned, the mentally ill, penitents, single mothers, reformed prostitutes, and stepchildren (all of which, besides maybe the prostitute, were roles she played during her lifetime). 

St. Margaret of Cortona, please pray for us 

that all women learn that their dignity and worth come from God alone, not from man. 

Help us to learn of and accept the mercy that God offers us. 

To realize that no matter what we do, God will always take us back. 

To learn more:

Catholic Online

Wikipedia

EWTN

New Advent

East of Eden

Franciscan-Anglican.com

PS: Am I the only one who wonders about her son in all of this? What was it like being the son of such a woman doing severe penances? To basically grow up in a monastery? It says eventually he became a friar. I'd like to read a biography about him. 

Be Easy On Yourself

I've been pretty high strung lately. The smallest of inconveniences have royally hacked me off. My voice has become shrill with every little move my toddler makes. I don't know why. It's probably a combination of things. Being stretched too thin, my time of the month, cabin fever, my toddler becoming a real toddler...

Parenting is hard. There is no doubt about that. Some days we just want to give up and then we feel guilty about it. But we need to be easier on ourselves, we can't be happy and supportive every second of the day. We're human.

I remember when James was really little and I'd feel guilty about crying in front of him. Postpartum depression was really hard for me and it was only compounded by the fact that I hated the fact James came when he did and how he did. Looking back, it was kind of funny. I'd cry and then I'd cry about the fact I was crying. Yup, parenthood sucks.

But just the fact we can say that means we aren't terrible parents. Comedian Jim Gaffigan in his book Dad is Fat puts it much more succinctly:

"If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kids to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday parties. If you complain about how hard it is to get your kid to read, it means you are trying to get your kid to read. If you are complaining about your kid not helping around the house, that means you have a fat, lazy kid. You joke about it. That's how you deal. If parents don't like being a parent, they don't talk about being a parent. They are absent. And probably having a great time out having a great time somewhere."

It isn't an easy job, but it is one of the most important jobs in the world. These are tomorrow's leaders, helpers, voters, artists, scientists...and parents! All this pressure needs to be dealt with somehow. So, you'll joke, you'll cry, you might even have the occasional irrational angry outburst.* It happens. You're still a fallible human being. To use another quote from Dad is Fat:

"Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent."

Wait a second, she gets to close the door when she goes to the bathroom. I'm jealous. Credit: http://www.glasbergen.com

*but physically lashing out is inexcusable. Yelling is to be expected. Getting angry for no good reason is to be expected. But never physically attack your child.

Believe Reflections: God Moments

A couple weeks ago, nearly 75 women came together at Two Talls Too to listen to Andrea L. Blair, DMHG, talk about her experiences with cancer and divorce. Her talk inspired a number of reflections from me, this being the third.

As I told you about last week, Mrs. Blair shared with us a moving story of a time when she heard the voice of God. She heard a voice outside of her self call her, "My daughter, My precious, My child." Her voice cracked and tears fell as she told us about this experience. This was a life changing moment for her. This experience led to her suffix, DMHG, Daughter of the Most High God.

This makes me ask two (okay, maybe 3) questions, the second (and third) of which I'll ask this week:

Don't we all have God moments? Why are we so reluctant to share them?

Yes, Mrs. Blair's experiences really touched her. It was exactly what she needed at the time, but don't we all have such experiences? Let me share a couple of mine:

I'm a convert to the Catholic Church. I was a college student at the time. I was at home visiting my family for Thanksgiving about a month before I was scheduled to be baptized Catholic. For days I had been praying for God to give me a sign that I was on the right track. I knew that being initiated into the Catholic Church was a big deal and it was a decision I would never be able to take back. 

One day I was in the pew before Mass asking yet again for a sign. Then, a voice spoke to me. It was definitely outside of myself, I wasn't making up these words myself. It said essentially that if He didn't want me to be Catholic, He wouldn't have put the people in my life who were so influential in my conversion. I would have never met my new Catholic friends if God didn't want me to be Catholic. That was the sign I needed. 

But God moments don't have to be that dramatic. That is the only time in my life I have ever heard a voice. It can be as simple as laying in bed with your child. 

Baby asleep in his own bed, not in his parents' bed. Hint, hint.

One night a few months ago, my son and I were in our bed waiting for my husband to get done with whatever video game he was working on and join us. My son rolled around until he fell asleep. I was in one of those moods where I didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't want to read. I just wanted my husband to get his butt in bed so we could turn off the light and I could go to sleep. In the silence of the room, I could feel everything that was going on. I was aware of my breathing. I could feel my heartbeat and my son's heartbeat. 

I could feel a heartbeat separate from ours. It was deeper and stronger. I felt like it must be the heartbeat of the Earth. It made me think about how interconnected we all are. It reminded me of all those paintings of Mary with all of the people of the Earth protected underneath her cloak. Ultimately, it made me think about the Sacred Heart. 

So, this leads me to my second question. Why was it so difficult for me to share with you my stories? In my last blog, it took me months to get up the courage to post my story of my experience with the devil. Why was that so hard? Why don't we share these stories all of the time?

Maybe we are afraid people will think we're nuts? We are taught that only things that are tangible and measurable are real. But that's unreasonable. There's a term for that, "scientism" and it's been denounced by popes for generations. It's the opposite extreme of Bible literalism, and the Truth is actually somewhere in between. In some sense, these God moments are more real than our everyday life and we need to take comfort in them and "comfort others with the comfort we have been given" (2 Corinthians 1:4).

Maybe we're also afraid of coming across as prideful? "Look at me, I'm special. God talked to me. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!" I still think if we were all honest with ourselves and with each other, we would discover that each and every one of us has had a least one God moment in our lives. God is always there and He cares about us deeply, why wouldn't He at least attempt to communicate with us all every once in a while? We might not always be listening, but I'm sure He's almost always talking.

I guess you need to test the spirits, but that's a post for another time. (Source)

All readers: You are welcome to join us for the next Ladies Night Out, Food and Faith! Stay tuned. We have them every other month on a Monday evening. I'll be posting the details once we have them. There will be an announcement very soon about who will be speaking in April!!!

Edith Stein on the Importance of Grace in the Pursuit of Holiness

"No book learning can give this acuteness of vision to our blind sight, no straining of the will can provide the energy to clip the wild shoots within ourselves and in those dear to us. Supernatural means must now come to our help."

-Edith Stein, The Significance of Woman's Intrinsic Value in National Life

Feminist Bake Sale

This morning, this was all over my Facebook news feed. I looked around online and, yes, it's real. In fact, more than one activist group has done it. There are even variations of it that also cover disparity in wages between ethnic groups.

This was not even a liberal group. This was a Young Conservatives of Texas group trying to make a very different point.

As a former student activist, I have to applaud their creativity. I'm sure these bake sales get a lot of buzz and get people talking about the issues. That's the whole point of provocative displays like this.

Where to start with the sign? I guess with the biggest point.

The soundbite, "Women make 77 cents to every dollar a man makes," is a lot more complicated than that.

The thing that strikes me the most is that the professions that pay the least (professionals like teachers and social workers) are dominated by women. Meanwhile, men dominate the fields that pay the most.

Yes, you can see where this is going.

Many women gravitate to the helping professions. Call it whatever you want (our innate God-given femininity or something society made up), but we want to help people. We want to form young minds. We want to take care of the sick, the orphan, the immigrant, and the disenfranchised everywhere. We want to take care of those who no one else cares about.

The amount that society pays a position indicates, among other things, the value that society places on those jobs. I can't think of a much more important job than nurturing the next generation. All people possess a dignity simply due to the fact they are human. These low paying jobs uphold that dignity. Why don't we hold these jobs on a higher pedestal?

Some people mock this street theater bake sale as only buying into stereotypes. Only a woman would bake to make a point. That's exactly right. We get to feed people and make them think. And this move would be particularly attention-grabbing on a college campus where, let's face it, all of the students are looking for a cheap or free bite to eat.

The statistic is simplistic and may mask some of the real issues, but the bake sale certainly has everyone's attention. I don't even know which school this particular sign comes from, but it showed up all over my Facebook newsfeed and I'm not even friends with any traditional college students anymore. Good job, student activists! Now, fill-in the blanks that the soundbite leaves.

Mary the Riveter. Not my best work, but I still love the sentiment. Maybe I should go back and make a better one someday. (Originally posted in my first blog)

Believe Reflections: "My Daughter, My Precious, My Child"

A couple weeks ago, nearly 75 women came together at Two Talls Too to listen to Andrea L. Blair, DMHG, talk about her experiences with cancer and divorce. Her talk inspired a number of reflections from me, this being the second.

"My Daughter, My Precious, My Child"

Mrs. Blair shared with us a moving story of a time when she heard the voice of God. She heard a voice outside of her self call her, "My daughter, My precious, My child." Her voice cracked and tears fell as she told us about this experience. This was a life changing moment for her. This experience led to her suffix, DMHG, Daughter of the Most High God.

This makes me ask two questions, the first of which I'll ask this week.

Why can't we consider ourselves God's daughters?

We know God loves us (John 3:16). We know we are made in His image (Genesis 1:27). Why is it so hard to claim that for ourselves personally? I can think of only three answers: sin, self-esteem, and suffering.

Sin

One meaning of the word "sin" is to "miss the mark." Now, who has never made a mistake? I don't think such a person exists. And God will always take us back. He rejoices in taking us back (Luke 15:7). As Catholics, we have a very tangible tool in which we can come back to God. We can talk to the priest, acting in the place of Christ, and receive absolution. We can even feel his hands on our head, if we choose to confess face to face with the priest. Here are a couple short videos from a great website, Busted Halo, that discuss issues with going to confession and how to do it:

Source

Self-esteem

We are told by the media all of the time: "You are not pretty enough," "You are not smart enough," "You are not rich enough." It's hard to keep in mind what God says: "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14) This video made the rounds on social media a couple months ago, but it might be worth another visit. This is a video of real women being photoshopped and their surprising reactions:

Suffering

Sometimes I just don't feel like a beloved daughter of God. I don't think I'm alone. Things happen in life and we wonder, "Where was God?" I can't give you a magical answer. It's one of those questions each and every believer has to answer for themselves. My answer won't necessarily work for you. Your answer probably won't work for me.

All I can do is offer examples. A quote I take comfort in is: "God has a will in everything, but not everything is His will." A lot of the world's suffering boils down to somebody's mistake or somebody's sin. My suffering is not God's fault, but God can be present with me in my suffering.

Another example I've heard a lot over the years, even though I don't find much comfort in it personally, isn't really an answer at all. It's advice to lift up our suffering to the Lord. Some people find a lot of comfort in uniting their suffering with the suffering Christ endured on the cross.

Our speaker, Mrs. Blair, I think would take comfort in the opposite of my quote above. Some people can definitely take comfort in the belief that everything happens for a reason and God is ultimately in control.

Source

All readers: You are welcome to join us for the next Ladies Night Out, Food and Faith! Stay tuned. We have them every other month on a Monday evening. I'll be posting the details once we have them.

Edith Stein and Mary as Our Role Model

One of my favorite paintings of Mary: Mother of Life by Nellie Edwards

"As Mother of God and mother of all God's children, she is exalted above all creatures on the throne of glory; maternity itself is glorified through her."

"Every woman who wants to fulfill her destiny must look to Mary as ideal."

-Edith Stein, Spirituality of the Christian Woman (emphasis is mine)

7 Quick Takes #1: Welcome to the New Blog

--- 1 ---

Welcome. I used to blog semi-regularly at The Syrophoenician Woman. I'll probably still post there from time to time if I'm struck with something that is not topically appropriate for this blog. The mission for this blog is to emphasize the dignity of women. I'll talk about Natural Family Planning, women saints and women in the Bible, whatever it is I'm reading, and I'll give a pro-life Catholic woman perspective on the news.

--- 2 ---

So, about me: I'm a work-at-home mom with a rambunctious toddler (I dare you to find a toddler that is not rambunctious). I help with social media for a organization called John Paul II Center for Women. I'm the Campus Outreach Coordinator for Feminists for Life. I volunteer at a number of things for church, including Confirmation class, Adult Religious Ed., Parish Council, and making the weekly e-bulletin. 

--- 3 ---

The toddler:

I swear, I don't share that many pictures of him and I typically don't talk about myself as much as I'm doing in this post. 

--- 4 ---

Happy Valentine's Day! Here is a funny, thought-provoking look at what Valentine's Day would be like if men and women switched their traditional roles (very minor language warning):

--- 5 ---

So, what does the above video make me think about?

1. The materialism of Valentine's Day. The average person celebrating Valentine's Day will spend almost $134 on their loved one. Why do we need so much stuff?
2. All women want to be pursued. I'm not sure how much I agree with that statement, but it is an idea found all over Christian literature. It's a recurring theme: women want to be pursued, they want to be courted, and God is always pursuing us. Maybe I'll develop this idea later.

What does it make you think about?

--- 6 ---

Woman Saint of the Week: I'll admit it, I'm a little biased this week. Yesterday was the feast day for a fairly well-known Dominican saint, Catherine de Ricci. She was very religious from a very early age, having a particular devotion to the Passion of Christ. She was a mystic and she was known for her strict penances, especially for the souls in purgatory. She was a lot like her namesake, Catherine of Siena. Very powerful men turned to her for advice and guidance. She has a several miracles to her name, including bilocation and her body has been found incorruptible.

--- 7 ---

Biblical Woman of the Week: For this I'm going to pick one of the very few women prophets mentioned by name in the Old Testament: Huldah. Good king and ancestor of Christ, Josiah, renovated the temple and tried to breathe new life into the religious life of his people. During the renovations, some old scrolls were found. He called the prophetess, Huldah, to determine what the scrolls were. She confirmed that they were the word of God and that if they were not followed, there would be dire consequences. Josiah went to work being faithful to God's word. Scholars believe that those scrolls were an early form of our book of Deuteronomy.

She is mentioned only twice (2 Kings 22:13-20 and 2 Chronicles 34:22-28) very briefly in the Bible, but there is substantial information about her outside of the Bible in the Talmud and the Midrash (two authoritative collections of Jewish teachings and reflections on Scripture). There is also some archaeological evidence of her life in the Huldah Gates located in the southern wall of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. It is believed that she used to prophesy there and some believe she was buried there as well.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

#whatwomenneed

Right now, Women Speak for Themselves have a great idea.

Earlier this week, the president of Planned Parenthood tweeted a video

#WhatWomenNeed for Valentine's Day: http://t.co/6oQu28YZMa

— Cecile Richards (@CecileRichards) February 10, 2014

>
As you can see, she lists all of the things she thinks women need for Valentine's Day, including birth control and "safe and legal abortion."

Women Speak for Themselves is an organization for women who are tired of people like Cecile Richards claiming to speak for all women. They stared back in 2012 when issues surrounding Obamacare and the HHS Mandate really started heating up. Their main push is an open letter to President Obama and Kathleen Sebelius, the Secretary for Health and Human Services stating that:

Those currently invoking "women's health" in an attempt to shout down anyone who disagrees with forcing religious institutions or individuals to violate deeply held beliefs are more than a little mistaken, and more than a little dishonest. Even setting aside their simplistic equation of "costless" birth control with "equality," note that they have never responded to the large body of scholarly research indicating that many forms of contraception have serious side effects, or that some forms act at some times to destroy embryos, or that government contraceptive programs inevitably change the sex, dating and marriage markets in ways that lead to more empty sex, more non-marital births and more abortions. It is women who suffer disproportionately when these things happen. 

You can sign the letter and get involved here.

Their newest idea, however, is for pro-life women all over the internet to take pictures of themselves holding signs saying what women really need.

This is a sample taken from their Facebook page.

They ask that we post our pictures on their Facebook page or e-mail it to Helen@chiaroscuroInstitute.org. Please share it on your own website, Facebook page, or blog. Tweet it and please use their handle @womenspeak2012. 

Here are mine:

Attempt #1

Attempt #2

Attempt #3

Attempt #4 (The one I think I'm going to post on Facebook and Twitter)

Tell me which attempt you think I should use.

Edith Stein on the Importance of the Holy Eucharist

"For every Catholic there lies ready an immeasurable treasure: the proximity of the Lord in the holy sacrifice and in the most holy sacrament of the altar. Whoever is imbued with a lively faith in Christ present in the tabernacle, whoever knows that a friend waits here constantly--always with the time, patience, and sympathy to listen to complaints, petitions, and problems, with counsel and help in all things--this person cannot remain desolate and forsaken even under the greatest difficulties. He always has a refuge where quietude and peace can again be found."

"It is most important that the Holy Eucharist becomes life's focal point: that the Eucharistic Savior is the center of existence; that every day is received from His hand and laid back therein; that the day's happenings are deliberated with Him."

-Edith Stein, Spirituality of the Christian Woman

Believe Reflections: What is Love?

Last Monday, nearly 75 women came together at Two Talls Too to listen to Andrea L. Blair, DMHG, talk about her experiences with cancer and divorce. Her talk inspired a number of reflections from me, this being the first.

What is love?

Her husband came home after a long night of drinking and told her he wanted a divorce. He said, "I just don't feel anything when I look at you anymore."

This really makes me angry. Love is not a feeling. Far too many people just don't understand that.

Anyone who has been married or in a long-term relationship can tell you, you don't always feel that warm fuzzy feeling when you are with your significant other. Frankly, that warm fuzzy feeling has a name and it is not love. It is lust. Love is so much more than that.

Primarily, love is a decision. You have to decide to stand by your significant other through thick and thin. You have to decide to treat your loved one with affection.

Now, that might not sound all that romantic. What is romantic about a decision? What about the candle-light dinners? Later this week, we will be celebrating Valentine's Day. The average person celebrating Valentine's Day will be spending almost 134 dollars on their loved one. We are told by the greeting card industry that we have to give cards to everyone. Men, in particular, are told that if they really love the special woman in his life, he would give her diamonds.

I would ask everyone, instead of thinking about the gifts and the sex, think about real love. Think about sticking with that one person for the rest of your life. Think about how Jesus gave us an example of real love in dying for us. Real love is sacrificial love.

"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." 

- John 15:13

This isn't the first time I've ranted about this topic. I wrote about it for teens at YOUCATholic.com here.

Source.

You are welcome to join us for the next Ladies Night Out, Food and Faith. Stay tuned. We have them every other month on a Monday evening. I'll be posting the details once we have them.

Birth Control in the Doctor's Office

In the "IT HAPPENED TO ME" section at XOJane, I recently saw a post by a woman who went to her doctor's office for a new prescription of birth control.

She had went to the office and filled out all the paper work. When she was called up to the desk, she was handed a form letter that stated that the doctor on call would not write prescriptions for birth control or refer anyone for an abortion.

She had to go out of her way, although she admits not far, to find a doctor who would give her the prescription she wanted. She posted about all of this on Facebook. Her situation gained so much attention, her story ended up on the local news.

As a Catholic woman, I'm not sure where to begin with this story. The doctor had every right to deny her a prescription for birth control. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church says in paragraph 1782:

1782 Man has the right to act in conscience and in freedom so as personally to make moral decisions. "He must not be forced to act contrary to his conscience. Nor must he be prevented from acting according to his conscience, especially in religious matters."

Our conscience, well-formed, is to be our guide in everything. It seems that, at least in a few key areas, this doctor's conscience is very well-formed.

However, as Ephesians 4:15 tells us, we are to "speak the truth in love." Now, look at this letter:

It says:

Dear Patient,

Please be advised that because of reasons of my own medical judgment as well as professional ethical concerns and religious values, I only provide one form of birth control, Natural Family Planning. In addition, I do not refer for vasectomies, abortions nor prescribe the morning after pill or any artificial contraception. If you are interested in the latter, please be aware that you may approach your own family doctor or request to be seen by another physician.

Some patients also come to a walk in clinic for prescriptions of narcotics. The distribution of those drugs is controlled. Narcotics have a high potential for side effects, including addiction and they should be prescribed by a regular physician who is able to follow you. It is your responsibility to ensure that this physician will be renewing your prescription on time as I won’t do so in a context of walk in clinic.

With deepest respect,

Edmond Kyrillos, B. Eng., MD, CCFP
Ottawa Ontario

Note that the doctor doesn't really explain why artificial contraception or abortion is wrong. He didn't even bother personally signing the letter. He didn't bother making two separate letters, one for women seeking birth control and the other for patients seeking narcotics. (And he sounds very condescending to the patient seeking narcotics, but that is beyond the scope of this post.)

In her post on XOJane, she talks about this as a "radical" view. This only shows how much work still needs to be done in helping people understand where pro-lifers are coming from. If it's "radical" to be against birth control and abortion, it only shows how far our society is from a true view of the dignity of each and every person. You don't have to believe in Jesus to agree that Natural Family Planning is better than artificial birth control. This is evidenced in the growth of Natural Family Planning groups that are not faith-based like this and this (The later group does promote the barrier form of birth control. We do not condone that form or any form of artificial contraception.).

She talks about the walk of shame leaving the clinic:

It almost felt like I was doing something wrong. I felt truly embarrassed having to leave in front of a group of people because of something that someone thinks is shameful and not right. 

Shame is not the way to spread the truth. I can understand that in a public clinic, the doctor may not have had the time to sit down and explain his views to every woman who walked through the doors, but he could have at least put more information in the letter. Or at least sign it.