Last Monday, nearly 75 women came together at Two Talls Too to listen to Andrea L. Blair, DMHG, talk about her experiences with cancer and divorce. Her talk inspired a number of reflections from me, this being the first.
What is love?
Her husband came home after a long night of drinking and told her he wanted a divorce. He said, "I just don't feel anything when I look at you anymore."
This really makes me angry. Love is not a feeling. Far too many people just don't understand that.
Anyone who has been married or in a long-term relationship can tell you, you don't always feel that warm fuzzy feeling when you are with your significant other. Frankly, that warm fuzzy feeling has a name and it is not love. It is lust. Love is so much more than that.
Primarily, love is a decision. You have to decide to stand by your significant other through thick and thin. You have to decide to treat your loved one with affection.
Now, that might not sound all that romantic. What is romantic about a decision? What about the candle-light dinners? Later this week, we will be celebrating Valentine's Day. The average person celebrating Valentine's Day will be spending almost 134 dollars on their loved one. We are told by the greeting card industry that we have to give cards to everyone. Men, in particular, are told that if they really love the special woman in his life, he would give her diamonds.
I would ask everyone, instead of thinking about the gifts and the sex, think about real love. Think about sticking with that one person for the rest of your life. Think about how Jesus gave us an example of real love in dying for us. Real love is sacrificial love.
"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."
- John 15:13
This isn't the first time I've ranted about this topic. I wrote about it for teens at YOUCATholic.com here.