Woman Saint of the Week #2: St. Margaret of Cortona

Here is saint whose story could be found anywhere in the United States in 2014.

In the thirteenth century, she was born to farmers in central Italy. Her mother died when she was young. Her father remarried. She got along with her step-mother like oil and water. The situation got so intense, she ran away with a wealthy young man who showered her with attention. She lived as his mistress for nine years. They had a son out of wedlock. One day, her lover was killed by thieves. Like many young people in a bad situation, seeing a friend killed served as a wake up call.

She tried to go back home, but her father and step-mother didn't want anything to do with her and her son. In despair as a homeless single mom, she heard a voice tell her to go to a nearby Franciscan monastery. They had pity and took her and her son in. She became a Secular Franciscan and earned her keep by caring for the sick and begging. She founded an order devoted to Our Lady of Mercy that worked with the poor and suffering.

She lived a life of severe penances. She felt so horrible about all of the things she had done when she was younger, she lived without even the most reasonable of comforts. One biographer notes that she needed a confessor to look after her and make sure that she at least treated herself like a human being.

She was still a very attractive woman. She would always spurn the attention men gave her, but she was regularly falsely accused of having affairs. At one point, she had to be stopped from mutilating herself. She wanted to destroy her face so that the advances would stop.

She had many mystical experiences. Toward the end of her life she had a couple notable ones featuring St. Mary Magdalene. She has been called the "Second Magdalene." Reportedly, Jesus referred to her as "povervella"(little poor thing) in her visions of Him.

Her feast day is February 22. Surprise, surprise, she's the patron saint of: the falsely accused, the homeless, the insane, the orphaned, the mentally ill, penitents, single mothers, reformed prostitutes, and stepchildren (all of which, besides maybe the prostitute, were roles she played during her lifetime). 

St. Margaret of Cortona, please pray for us 

that all women learn that their dignity and worth come from God alone, not from man. 

Help us to learn of and accept the mercy that God offers us. 

To realize that no matter what we do, God will always take us back. 

To learn more:

Catholic Online

Wikipedia

EWTN

New Advent

East of Eden

Franciscan-Anglican.com

PS: Am I the only one who wonders about her son in all of this? What was it like being the son of such a woman doing severe penances? To basically grow up in a monastery? It says eventually he became a friar. I'd like to read a biography about him. 

Be Easy On Yourself

I've been pretty high strung lately. The smallest of inconveniences have royally hacked me off. My voice has become shrill with every little move my toddler makes. I don't know why. It's probably a combination of things. Being stretched too thin, my time of the month, cabin fever, my toddler becoming a real toddler...

Parenting is hard. There is no doubt about that. Some days we just want to give up and then we feel guilty about it. But we need to be easier on ourselves, we can't be happy and supportive every second of the day. We're human.

I remember when James was really little and I'd feel guilty about crying in front of him. Postpartum depression was really hard for me and it was only compounded by the fact that I hated the fact James came when he did and how he did. Looking back, it was kind of funny. I'd cry and then I'd cry about the fact I was crying. Yup, parenthood sucks.

But just the fact we can say that means we aren't terrible parents. Comedian Jim Gaffigan in his book Dad is Fat puts it much more succinctly:

"If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kids to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday parties. If you complain about how hard it is to get your kid to read, it means you are trying to get your kid to read. If you are complaining about your kid not helping around the house, that means you have a fat, lazy kid. You joke about it. That's how you deal. If parents don't like being a parent, they don't talk about being a parent. They are absent. And probably having a great time out having a great time somewhere."

It isn't an easy job, but it is one of the most important jobs in the world. These are tomorrow's leaders, helpers, voters, artists, scientists...and parents! All this pressure needs to be dealt with somehow. So, you'll joke, you'll cry, you might even have the occasional irrational angry outburst.* It happens. You're still a fallible human being. To use another quote from Dad is Fat:

"Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent."

Wait a second, she gets to close the door when she goes to the bathroom. I'm jealous. Credit: http://www.glasbergen.com

*but physically lashing out is inexcusable. Yelling is to be expected. Getting angry for no good reason is to be expected. But never physically attack your child.

Believe Reflections: God Moments

A couple weeks ago, nearly 75 women came together at Two Talls Too to listen to Andrea L. Blair, DMHG, talk about her experiences with cancer and divorce. Her talk inspired a number of reflections from me, this being the third.

As I told you about last week, Mrs. Blair shared with us a moving story of a time when she heard the voice of God. She heard a voice outside of her self call her, "My daughter, My precious, My child." Her voice cracked and tears fell as she told us about this experience. This was a life changing moment for her. This experience led to her suffix, DMHG, Daughter of the Most High God.

This makes me ask two (okay, maybe 3) questions, the second (and third) of which I'll ask this week:

Don't we all have God moments? Why are we so reluctant to share them?

Yes, Mrs. Blair's experiences really touched her. It was exactly what she needed at the time, but don't we all have such experiences? Let me share a couple of mine:

I'm a convert to the Catholic Church. I was a college student at the time. I was at home visiting my family for Thanksgiving about a month before I was scheduled to be baptized Catholic. For days I had been praying for God to give me a sign that I was on the right track. I knew that being initiated into the Catholic Church was a big deal and it was a decision I would never be able to take back. 

One day I was in the pew before Mass asking yet again for a sign. Then, a voice spoke to me. It was definitely outside of myself, I wasn't making up these words myself. It said essentially that if He didn't want me to be Catholic, He wouldn't have put the people in my life who were so influential in my conversion. I would have never met my new Catholic friends if God didn't want me to be Catholic. That was the sign I needed. 

But God moments don't have to be that dramatic. That is the only time in my life I have ever heard a voice. It can be as simple as laying in bed with your child. 

Baby asleep in his own bed, not in his parents' bed. Hint, hint.

One night a few months ago, my son and I were in our bed waiting for my husband to get done with whatever video game he was working on and join us. My son rolled around until he fell asleep. I was in one of those moods where I didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't want to read. I just wanted my husband to get his butt in bed so we could turn off the light and I could go to sleep. In the silence of the room, I could feel everything that was going on. I was aware of my breathing. I could feel my heartbeat and my son's heartbeat. 

I could feel a heartbeat separate from ours. It was deeper and stronger. I felt like it must be the heartbeat of the Earth. It made me think about how interconnected we all are. It reminded me of all those paintings of Mary with all of the people of the Earth protected underneath her cloak. Ultimately, it made me think about the Sacred Heart. 

So, this leads me to my second question. Why was it so difficult for me to share with you my stories? In my last blog, it took me months to get up the courage to post my story of my experience with the devil. Why was that so hard? Why don't we share these stories all of the time?

Maybe we are afraid people will think we're nuts? We are taught that only things that are tangible and measurable are real. But that's unreasonable. There's a term for that, "scientism" and it's been denounced by popes for generations. It's the opposite extreme of Bible literalism, and the Truth is actually somewhere in between. In some sense, these God moments are more real than our everyday life and we need to take comfort in them and "comfort others with the comfort we have been given" (2 Corinthians 1:4).

Maybe we're also afraid of coming across as prideful? "Look at me, I'm special. God talked to me. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!" I still think if we were all honest with ourselves and with each other, we would discover that each and every one of us has had a least one God moment in our lives. God is always there and He cares about us deeply, why wouldn't He at least attempt to communicate with us all every once in a while? We might not always be listening, but I'm sure He's almost always talking.

I guess you need to test the spirits, but that's a post for another time. (Source)

All readers: You are welcome to join us for the next Ladies Night Out, Food and Faith! Stay tuned. We have them every other month on a Monday evening. I'll be posting the details once we have them. There will be an announcement very soon about who will be speaking in April!!!

Edith Stein on the Importance of Grace in the Pursuit of Holiness

"No book learning can give this acuteness of vision to our blind sight, no straining of the will can provide the energy to clip the wild shoots within ourselves and in those dear to us. Supernatural means must now come to our help."

-Edith Stein, The Significance of Woman's Intrinsic Value in National Life

Feminist Bake Sale

This morning, this was all over my Facebook news feed. I looked around online and, yes, it's real. In fact, more than one activist group has done it. There are even variations of it that also cover disparity in wages between ethnic groups.

This was not even a liberal group. This was a Young Conservatives of Texas group trying to make a very different point.

As a former student activist, I have to applaud their creativity. I'm sure these bake sales get a lot of buzz and get people talking about the issues. That's the whole point of provocative displays like this.

Where to start with the sign? I guess with the biggest point.

The soundbite, "Women make 77 cents to every dollar a man makes," is a lot more complicated than that.

The thing that strikes me the most is that the professions that pay the least (professionals like teachers and social workers) are dominated by women. Meanwhile, men dominate the fields that pay the most.

Yes, you can see where this is going.

Many women gravitate to the helping professions. Call it whatever you want (our innate God-given femininity or something society made up), but we want to help people. We want to form young minds. We want to take care of the sick, the orphan, the immigrant, and the disenfranchised everywhere. We want to take care of those who no one else cares about.

The amount that society pays a position indicates, among other things, the value that society places on those jobs. I can't think of a much more important job than nurturing the next generation. All people possess a dignity simply due to the fact they are human. These low paying jobs uphold that dignity. Why don't we hold these jobs on a higher pedestal?

Some people mock this street theater bake sale as only buying into stereotypes. Only a woman would bake to make a point. That's exactly right. We get to feed people and make them think. And this move would be particularly attention-grabbing on a college campus where, let's face it, all of the students are looking for a cheap or free bite to eat.

The statistic is simplistic and may mask some of the real issues, but the bake sale certainly has everyone's attention. I don't even know which school this particular sign comes from, but it showed up all over my Facebook newsfeed and I'm not even friends with any traditional college students anymore. Good job, student activists! Now, fill-in the blanks that the soundbite leaves.

Mary the Riveter. Not my best work, but I still love the sentiment. Maybe I should go back and make a better one someday. (Originally posted in my first blog)

Believe Reflections: "My Daughter, My Precious, My Child"

A couple weeks ago, nearly 75 women came together at Two Talls Too to listen to Andrea L. Blair, DMHG, talk about her experiences with cancer and divorce. Her talk inspired a number of reflections from me, this being the second.

"My Daughter, My Precious, My Child"

Mrs. Blair shared with us a moving story of a time when she heard the voice of God. She heard a voice outside of her self call her, "My daughter, My precious, My child." Her voice cracked and tears fell as she told us about this experience. This was a life changing moment for her. This experience led to her suffix, DMHG, Daughter of the Most High God.

This makes me ask two questions, the first of which I'll ask this week.

Why can't we consider ourselves God's daughters?

We know God loves us (John 3:16). We know we are made in His image (Genesis 1:27). Why is it so hard to claim that for ourselves personally? I can think of only three answers: sin, self-esteem, and suffering.

Sin

One meaning of the word "sin" is to "miss the mark." Now, who has never made a mistake? I don't think such a person exists. And God will always take us back. He rejoices in taking us back (Luke 15:7). As Catholics, we have a very tangible tool in which we can come back to God. We can talk to the priest, acting in the place of Christ, and receive absolution. We can even feel his hands on our head, if we choose to confess face to face with the priest. Here are a couple short videos from a great website, Busted Halo, that discuss issues with going to confession and how to do it:

Source

Self-esteem

We are told by the media all of the time: "You are not pretty enough," "You are not smart enough," "You are not rich enough." It's hard to keep in mind what God says: "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14) This video made the rounds on social media a couple months ago, but it might be worth another visit. This is a video of real women being photoshopped and their surprising reactions:

Suffering

Sometimes I just don't feel like a beloved daughter of God. I don't think I'm alone. Things happen in life and we wonder, "Where was God?" I can't give you a magical answer. It's one of those questions each and every believer has to answer for themselves. My answer won't necessarily work for you. Your answer probably won't work for me.

All I can do is offer examples. A quote I take comfort in is: "God has a will in everything, but not everything is His will." A lot of the world's suffering boils down to somebody's mistake or somebody's sin. My suffering is not God's fault, but God can be present with me in my suffering.

Another example I've heard a lot over the years, even though I don't find much comfort in it personally, isn't really an answer at all. It's advice to lift up our suffering to the Lord. Some people find a lot of comfort in uniting their suffering with the suffering Christ endured on the cross.

Our speaker, Mrs. Blair, I think would take comfort in the opposite of my quote above. Some people can definitely take comfort in the belief that everything happens for a reason and God is ultimately in control.

Source

All readers: You are welcome to join us for the next Ladies Night Out, Food and Faith! Stay tuned. We have them every other month on a Monday evening. I'll be posting the details once we have them.

Edith Stein and Mary as Our Role Model

One of my favorite paintings of Mary: Mother of Life by Nellie Edwards

"As Mother of God and mother of all God's children, she is exalted above all creatures on the throne of glory; maternity itself is glorified through her."

"Every woman who wants to fulfill her destiny must look to Mary as ideal."

-Edith Stein, Spirituality of the Christian Woman (emphasis is mine)